tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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