She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize