i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
