So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
