can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
How's work?
Spinning.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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