They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize