Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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