I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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