Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize