You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
