cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize