i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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