And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
