evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
