so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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