Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
