when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
babies were throwing up all over the place
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize