Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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