I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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