i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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