Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
