you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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