He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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