and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
