Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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