I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
