Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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