I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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