You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
