Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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