ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
