ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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