More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
