Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
