I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
