I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
