I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
