wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Don't EVER smell your tampon
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
