her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
