I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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