Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
