when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
