He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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