Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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