Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
