You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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