these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
