i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
