yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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