Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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