do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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