i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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