Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
