i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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