Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
