Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
