so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
