That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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