When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
