i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
