on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
