Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
